The Only Answer I Have Is Love

I’ve spent more time than normal focused on how to write this post. It’s taken me three weeks to get to this point. And still I hesitate.

Why?

Because no matter what I say or how good my intentions, it’s probable someone will not like what I say. I’m not perfect, and I admit, I might not get this right. There are way too many thoughts running through my brain. I don’t want to be silent, but I don’t want my words twisted, either. I’ve witnessed a lot of twisted interpretations, and I’ve witnessed some odd opinions as of late.

Lately, and I don’t mean in the last few weeks, but over the last decade, we’ve become a society more focused on labels rather than people. So, I’m going to start there. Of all the labels you can use to describe me, only one matters: I am Christian.

The sad thing is some people immediately categorized me in a negative way. We were warned of this in I Peter 2:11-12, 15:

Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against my soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us. . . For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people.

Unfortunately, in our media-centric world, Christians are not portrayed well. We’re shown as haters. I’ve had friends on Facebook slam all Christians. I’ve wondered if they knew it was me they were attacking.

In John 13, Jesus tells his disciples:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35

They don’t see this.

But did you catch verse 12 of I Peter 2 above? They will see our actions and glorify God, not us, when He returns. That’s hard. That’s tough.

A lot has happened in our world, and George Floyd is the tip of the iceberg. I’ve seen the video many times on the news. I’ve sat with my 8 year old grandson and tried to explain to him what happened to George Floyd and why people are protesting. It’s a tough question to answer. He’s biracial. His sister is, too. I’m raising them.  He became upset and told me he hated America and wanted to leave. This broke my heart. I knew he was too young to process what was happening, but I knew I couldn’t hide it from him, and I shouldn’t. He will grow up in this world, and what happens now will impact him as an adult. I fear for my grandchildren and the other children of this world.

I, also, fear for my husband, who is in law enforcement.

Both sides of this issue are personal to me.

I’ve written and deleted more words than I’ve written right now.. And I just did it again. My heart hurts for this world.

I keep coming back to Ephesians 4:32:

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ forgave you.

One of my dear friends recently shared a YouTube video with me, and I think it’s best if I let that video speak for me. I’m sharing the link to the one shared with me and the follow up one. Both came out before George Floyd’s murder, but the message fits. The second one came out after the details on Ahmaud Arbery’s murder came to light. Both are roughly 45 minutes long, but they are well worth your time.

I pray that you will watch them.

Why Can’t We Be Unified?

Why Can’t We Be Unified? Part 2

I leave this post, with my own thoughts: Jesus called us to love one another. Our love is what’s supposed to identify us as Christians. Jesus told us to turn the other cheek and go the second mile. Satan wants to divide us, and he’s doing a great job at it.

Please watch the videos and pray about what you should do.

Violence is not the answer.

Silence is not the answer.

The only answer I can find is love.

 

Domestic Violence Awareness Month: From One Who Lived It

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Forty-one years ago this month, I married the man who would become my abuser. He had already altered the trajectory of my life, and our short, three-year marriage would continue to shift my life path in ways unimaginable. I usually try to ignore the date when it comes around, but, ironically, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

A few years ago, I decided to confront this memory differently, to share what I’ve written on domestic violence. Please be aware that these posts reflect on a very short part of my life close to forty years ago. I’ve spent the years since seeking to educate others on this issue. I won’t stop doing that until I’m gone, but, even then, I hope my words will live on to guide others to escape or avoid an abusive relationship.

Today, the links are in purple, the color we wear to remember those who suffer, suffered, or died at the hands of an abuser.

• Why Abuse Victims Stay
• Breaking the Cycle of Domestic Violence
• Life Isn’t Fair: When You Feel Trapped
• When the Physical Abuse Starts
• Domestic Violence: When Women Defend Against An Abuser
• Walking Away From Abuse
• What Do You Believe: Christians, Domestic Violence, and Divorce
• Navigating the Dark Path of Escape From Abuse
• Life After An Abusive Relationship
• Does the Abuse Stop After the Divorce?
• The Long Term Effects of Domestic Violence
• The Long Term Effects of Domestic Violence, Part 2
• Navigating Mountains and Valleys in Life

I doubt you can stomach all of these in one sitting, but if you want to know more about a serious topic in today’s world, any of these posts can be enlightening.

I pray that you will find a way to help someone in this situation. If there are multiple signs that make you suspect someone is in an abusive relationship, please speak to them. That said, do be careful how you do this.  Abusers read their partners’ email, texts, and mail. They eavesdrop on phone calls. They track their whereabouts. None of this technology existed when I went through this. It’s another example of technology meant for good being twisted into something dangerous. Make sure you don’t endanger them.

Telling My Story: The Pixel Project

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

A few months ago, a writer I admire posted information on Facebook about The Pixel Project. I checked out the site and discovered they are trying to raise awareness of violence against women.

I entered a “contest” called Survivor Stories, and they selected my story of domestic violence to appear on their site on Mother’s Day. Below is the link.

The Survivor Stories Project

Many of you know I started this blog to tell my journey to faith. This included talking about my experience with domestic violence. It happened a lifetime ago, and I’ve conquered that part of my life, but I write this blog to help people going through some of the things I’ve gone through. If you’ve never read the posts about my experience with domestic violence, please check out these tags in the sidebar:  Abuse, Domestic Violence, and Violence. If you’re curious about my whole story, check out this tag: The Journey.

Also, if you use Twitter, searching for #SurvivorStories will bring up some of the other stories told by The Pixel Project.

Thank you for reading. And as always, please feel free to share my posts.  I write them in hopes that they help someone who’s struggling.