Becoming, Not Falling Apart

Courtesy of Pixabay

Last week was rough. This week isn’t much better, to be honest. Ok, maybe marginally better. Just not by much. It’s May, and we have 4 more weeks of school. It can’t get here fast enough. I’m not banking on finding it easier to work with the kids home and out of school, but at least I won’t have to coax my grandson to finish his assignments. I pray I’ll be able to achieve a few work tasks each day. Summer day camps have begun to cancel on us, so I know that I’ll have them around for part of the summer if not all. That’s one piece of news I anticipated but had hoped would not happen.

It’s an ever changing world for us right now, and I’m trying to take the surprises with grace. The key word in that last sentence is trying in case you didn’t catch that.

One of my friends posted a conversation with God on Facebook sometime this past week. It spoke to me, especially in the light of all that’s just not working out right now, so I’m going to share it here. I have no idea who the author is, or I’d give them credit. It came marked Author Unknown.

Edited: The conversation below is by John Roedel, author of Hey God. Hey John (book and Facebook page)

 

Me: Hey God.

God: Hello…..

Me: I’m falling apart. Can you put me back together?

God: I would rather not.

Me: Why?

God: Because you aren’t a puzzle.

Me: What about all of the pieces of my life that are falling down onto the ground?

God: Let them stay there for a while. They fell off for a reason. Take some time and decide if you need any of those pieces back.

Me: You don’t understand! I’m breaking down!

God: No – you don’t understand. You are breaking through. What you are feeling are just growing pains. You are shedding the things and the people in your life that are holding you back. You aren’t falling apart. You are falling into place. Relax. Take some deep breaths and allow those things you don’t need anymore to fall off of you. Quit holding onto the pieces that don’t fit you anymore. Let them fall off. Let them go.

Me: Once I start doing that, what will be left of me?

God: Only the very best pieces of you.

Me: I’m scared of changing.

God: I keep telling you – YOU AREN’T CHANGING!! YOU ARE BECOMING!

Me: Becoming who?

God: Becoming who I created you to be! A person of light and love and charity and hope and courage and joy and mercy and grace and compassion. I made you for more than the shallow pieces you have decided to adorn yourself with that you cling to with such greed and fear. Let those things fall off of you. I love you! Don’t change! … Become! Become! Become who I made you to be. I’m going to keep telling you this until you remember it.

Me: There goes another piece.

God: Yep. Let it be.

Me: So … I’m not broken?

God: Of course Not! – but you are breaking like the dawn. It’s a new day. Become!!!

~Author Unknown

 

I couldn’t read this without thinking about God’s promise to make us new and to work His will for good in our lives.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

No matter how crazy our days are right now, we need to hand it over to God and trust him through prayer and petition to give us peace.

That is my prayer for you today.

Do You Have Prayer Warriors?

© Barbara V. Evers, All rights reserved

It’s been a rough few weeks. I’ve thought about writing a post but couldn’t decide what to put in it and what to leave out. That’s the difficult part when writing about what’s going on in our current lives. There is a thing called privacy.

When it comes down to it, I think the most valuable part of the last few weeks has to do with prayer warriors. In Matthew 18: 20, we’re told:

For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.

A few weeks ago, I struggled with a concern for my daughter. Two things were going to happen that day that could change everything for her and us. One was a medical test, one was a legal issue. In my heart, I prayed to God asking him to let the medical test be negative. I couldn’t deal with any other outcome, and I told Him so. That may sound presumptuous and selfish, but we’re not supposed to be faced with more than we can handle. A positive test would impact all of us and leave several hurdles to overcome. I. Could. Not. Face. That.

I, also, asked for the right outcome with the legal issue, but I focused more on the medical test and my daughter’s attitude for the day.

I prayed that morning. And I prayed. And I prayed.

Matthew 18:20 kept surfacing in my mind. I knew I should turn this over to others to pray, but I struggled with the decision. Would I harm her more by sharing her personal life issues or by not sharing? After a long period of interceding for my daughter, I turned to several prayer warrior women. It’s important to point out that not all of these women are close friends. I chose the ones who I knew had a strong prayer life. Women I knew would intercede for my daughter. Their responses were overwhelming! I had 10 women lifting both situations before the Lord. Each approached the prayer in her own way. But, most importantly, each one prayed.

I must say thank you to these women. They know who they are. Each of you, in your own way, took the load off of my shoulders and made it possible for me to move through the day without worry.

And what happened?

The medical test did come back negative. Hallelujah!

The legal decision was postponed.

In His own way, God answered the second part of the prayer. It’s not as clear of an answer as the first one, especially by the incidents that led to the postponement, but I have faith that it’s the answer that made the most sense on that day.

Prayer warriors are more than people who will say, “I will pray for you.” They actually do. They stop and entreat God for you. They beseech Jesus to help you. They settle your troubled heart with the calm assurance that God can handle anything they lift up to Him. Over the years, I’ve come to understand the importance of this kind of relationship. We need others who will stop what they’re doing and pray.

Do you have prayer warriors who will stand in the gap with you?

Forced to Slow Down

My forced slow down continues, but I’m on the recovery path with my broken foot. I hit a much-needed milestone this week. I can now drive. Short distances, mind you, but it’s a step in the right direction. Of course, I pushed my limits early in the week and had to slow back down as my foot complained. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

One thing I’ve noticed as I spent the last month (!) as an observer instead of major participant in the running of our household is how much the kids have been affected by the shifts in our routine. I already knew they needed routine to feel safe, but it’s different when you observe it happening. At a time when we needed cooperation most, they became more difficult. This week, I’ve seen occasional improvements, but in small doses.

Amari seems to be pushing back against the changes by whining. A. LOT. We’re talking multiple meltdowns in the hour between getting up and going to school, and then a repeat of this in the hours after school until bedtime. Luckily, this isn’t happening at school. I wish I knew what was going on in his head.  I’m sure there’s some worry that he can’t express to us driving him to these actions.

When he keeps whining, we get frustrated, and our patience runs thin. And that brings Victoria into the picture. She starts yelling at everyone. We’re already dealing with the adolescent onset of negative attitudes and tones from her, but she’s taking it to a whole new level. The weird thing is she sounds like she’s mad at us, and we’re just trying to get everyone moving and on track toward school or bedtime. She told me this morning, she’s not mad at us, she’s mad at her brother. Great. We’ve asked her to stay out of things because it makes it worst, but I feel like we’re talking to a wall.

Since I’m stuck working from home, I often spend some time after they leave sitting quietly. I need to get my heart and mind in a good place before I tackle anything else. First, I pray for their day, the safety of our schools, and any other issues I want to discuss with God. I’ve been better at really focusing on this in the past month. Then, most mornings, I listen to my Bible app while I sip on my tea. If a particular scripture intrigues me, I listen to different Bible versions of it while I get ready for the day. It does help, and I eventually come back down to earth.

Your word is a lamp for my feet,
    a light on my path.
Psalm 119:105

 

Before I dive into my paid work, I create images like the lantern one above and post them on social media. These seem to be a result of the time I’m spending in prayer and scripture. The response to my posts tells me people need these inspirations during their day, too. I’m doing them for me, but it’s nice to know they’re impacting others.

There’s a lot I’m seeing and trying to understand these days. The situation has forced me to observe. Even though I can’t act on most of what I’m observing, my gut is telling me that I need to pay attention to the clues. Hopefully, I’ll be able to find some answers or gain some insight during this time. I’m frustrated, but I’m trying to make good use of my enforced rest.

What about you? Have you ever been forced to slow down? What did you learn?