Last week my daughter went to her court hearing and was released. I learned of it the day before, but I couldn’t be there. We had dental appointments and dance class. I stayed busy, but I wondered if she would disappear or stay on the track available to her–moving into a recovery house. I’m relieved to say, she did go to the recovery house. So far, she’s still there, but the last time she went from jail to a recovery program, she lost her cool over some minor issue and was asked to leave. I revisited this event with her the day before her hearing, stressing that she needed to listen and stay calm in dealing with rules and consequences. We will see.
After her first full day in the house, she called me to tell me she loved me and to thank me for the few clothes items I took to her. Unlike some shelters, she’s given a job with a wage, so she can pay for the program and her food and clothing. I like that, but she did need a few things to get started, so I gave her some items I no longer needed.
She called around 10 pm–the first free moment she’d had. She’d spent the majority of the day getting new copies of documents that most of us have without thinking about it. People on the street lose these documents.
Later in the day, they went to a recovery meeting. She still needed to speak with a caseworker before going to bed but grabbed a second to call me. As we were talking, she said, “Guess where our meeting was.”
Turns out she ended up at our church. Many programs use our facility, but I was surprised the recovery house took them across town instead of to a program closer to the house. Prior to the meeting, she was praying for God to give her some sign that she was doing the right thing. I have no idea why she questioned her current plan. Maybe it was a tough day. As in Proverbs 22:3, the path she was on is the safe one if she’ll take refuge in it. To walk away would be to continue on her old path. That path is dangerous. She said he answered her by sending her to our church. She was so excited that she bounced through the halls exclaiming, “My kids go here. My kids walk these halls.”
I’ll take any good sign I can get right now, but I’m waiting for something to go wrong, too.
I pray she’ll stick it out. I pray she’ll get on track. I pray she’ll take the time to get her act together before she asks the courts to give her custody of her children again. And there’s the conundrum. That last prayer terrifies me.
The prudent take refuge. The simple fall into danger.
The courts will look at housing, income, and her participation in a recovery program when deciding whether to reunite the grands with their mother. These decisions happen too quickly, seeking a misguided goal of reuniting children with their parents as soon as possible. Many children return to parents who aren’t prepared for the responsibilities of raising children. The world our children grow up in today contains so many dangers, and the courts exacerbate the situation by using a lack of prudence in their decisions. My daughter attempts to be a buddy to her son and daughter rather than a mother. She discounts our rules and suggests things I feel are inappropriate. Parenting is a skill she should have developed a long time ago.
She didn’t or the streets took it from her. Either way, this scares me.