“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”
It’s been a while since I’ve posted here. Not because nothing is happening. More like too much is happening! I can barely come up for air most days. I never manage to get everything done. Add to that, the shifting dynamic of the grands’ lives and their mother’s trials and tribulations, and well, it’s tough.
I’m not sure how much to share at this point–there’s really too much, but I will say that I’m juggling a LOT of stuff. V is in heavy adolescent hormonal mode. It’s nightmarish. It’s worse than any of our daughters at this age. I don’t know if ADHD and anxiety have added to it, but I doubt it’s helped. Almost everything she says is mean and nasty and rude. It sucks the joy right out of most everything we try to do.
Then there’s A. He’s seeing a counselor for social issues, a psychiatrist for his meds, and another psychiatrist for exposure response therapy. It’s ridiculous but necessary. That’s a hard one to swallow. The exposure response therapy has helped with his OCD, though, so I’m grinning and bearing it.
Their mom? She’s back in the picture after spending a few months in jail this past spring. As in past times, she’s saying and doing the right things. She’s working. She’s in a rehab house. But she still hasn’t admitted to the many mistakes she’s made. Her son doesn’t mind; he’s just happy to talk to her, but he doesn’t really remember what happened almost six years ago. V is another story. She’s angry for many reasons. I can’t blame her.
We were on vacation last week–something I didn’t want their mom to know since the house was empty–and the kids told her. Her response? Can I come? Nope. Nada. Not happening. Luckily, she got a job and realized she couldn’t start a new job and immediately skip out on a vacation. But, when we got back, she told me she’d been in the hospital again. According to her, she almost had a stroke. Her blood pressure went sky high and the whites of her eyes turned blood red. One eye still is. I don’t know enough about her circumstances to understand what’s happening, but I’m so thankful she didn’t have a stroke. I talked to her about her diet–she’s vegetarian but eats LOTS of salt–and suggested she not push herself so hard. She finds multitudes of ways to stress herself out because she refuses to stop and think. She just plunges headlong into stuff.
That aside, she has no clue how to speak to her children. We saw her on Monday and she started talking about extraterrestrial aliens and telepathy and the grim reaper. The next day, A told me, “Mommy scared me.” I asked him which part, and he said the grim reaper story. He’s a sensitive little guy, and you never know what’s going to frighten or upset him. Add anxiety to his fears, and it’s hard to anticipate. I’m continually shushing V from talking about things that I know will set him off. Maybe I should expose him to his fears, but I don’t have time to deal with them and EVERYTHING else right now.
So, in a nutshell, that’s where we are, bumpy road and all. I know we were never promised an easy life, but I could do with some smooth sailing right now. Thank goodness God is on our side!
Image courtesy of Pixabay.com