Telling My Story: The Pixel Project

ID-100105038

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

A few months ago, a writer I admire posted information on Facebook about The Pixel Project. I checked out the site and discovered they are trying to raise awareness of violence against women.

I entered a “contest” called Survivor Stories, and they selected my story of domestic violence to appear on their site on Mother’s Day. Below is the link.

The Survivor Stories Project

Many of you know I started this blog to tell my journey to faith. This included talking about my experience with domestic violence. It happened a lifetime ago, and I’ve conquered that part of my life, but I write this blog to help people going through some of the things I’ve gone through. If you’ve never read the posts about my experience with domestic violence, please check out these tags in the sidebar:  Abuse, Domestic Violence, and Violence. If you’re curious about my whole story, check out this tag: The Journey.

Also, if you use Twitter, searching for #SurvivorStories will bring up some of the other stories told by The Pixel Project.

Thank you for reading. And as always, please feel free to share my posts.  I write them in hopes that they help someone who’s struggling.

Advertisements

The Forgotten On Mother’s Day

Image courtesy of Pixabay

This weekend, we celebrate Mother’s Day. It’s not my favorite day because most of mine have not gone well.

Instead of whining about my issues with this day, I want to encourage you to notice the women who get sidelined or find it hard to enjoy this day.

Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.
Psalm 68:5

As you remember your mother, wife, grandparents, or any other women in your life who answer to “Mom” please try to share a kind thought or blessing with any you know who are:

Childless:  Many women want children and can’t have them. This can be a tough day for them.

Single Moms: Most children learn to celebrate Mother’s Day through their fathers. Without a father to guide them, children of single moms don’t always recognize the significance of this day.

Military Wives:  These women have the same problem as single parents if their husbands are deployed.

Stepmothers: They get a bad wrap thanks to fairy tales. Any woman who willingly marries a man with children does so with plans to embrace the lives of those children. That doesn’t mean those children remember them on Mother’s Day.

Grandmothers Raising Grandchildren: Most of them did not sign up for this. They’ve already parented one generation of children and were not anticipating doing it again.

Mothers Who Have Lost Their Children: I can’t begin to imagine the pain they experience.

Mothers Whose Children Don’t Contact Them: Estrangement from a child hurts. This is that little baby they carried and doted on.

Mothers Whose Children Live Too Far Away: They tend to understand the problems brought on by distance, but it still makes for a lonely Mother’s Day.

Women Who Have Lost Their Mothers: It’s been four years since I lost my mom and shopping for Mother’s Day cards is bittersweet. I, always, find the perfect one for her.

Single Dads: Single dads play the part of mom, they have no choice.

Widowers:  Whether their children remain at home or are grown, they miss the woman they used to honor on this day.

I’m sure there are others who belong on this list. Find them and wish them a good day. If you have time or the means, treat them to lunch or a mani-pedi or give them a break from the kids for a few hours. They will appreciate it more than you know.

A version of this post originally ran on May 5, 2017.

What Do We Tell the Addict’s Children?

spring-1569544-1280x960-freeimages.jpg

Image courtesy of freeimages.com/kliverap

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. Matthew 18:21-22

A few weeks ago, I posted about promises my daughter made to my grandchildren. Promises I doubted she would or could keep. Within a week of that post, she bonded out of the local detention center and broke those promises. Prior to her release, she asked me if we and the children could meet her for dinner once she got out. She assured me she missed her children too much and didn’t want to be without them, anymore. She promised to do whatever it took to get back on track.  I doubted her convictions, but did not turn her down.

She was out for two days before I knew they’d released her. I found out by checking the current inmate info online.

A few days later, Victoria showed me pictures she’d drawn to send to her mother. I admired them but said nothing about her mother’s whereabouts. Victoria hadn’t drawn anything for my daughter in some time. In fact, the more my daughter promised, the more upset my granddaughter became. It hurt knowing her mom was so close to getting out and coming to see her. She missed her too much, so she asked to not speak to her mom on the phone. I honored this request though my daughter didn’t like it.

What do I tell Victoria now? What about Amari who created the fantasy that he was going back to live with his mom?

When it became obvious to Victoria that her mother hadn’t called or been in contact, I told her the truth. “We don’t know where she is. She got out a week ago, and we haven’t heard from her.”

Victoria did not comment. But she spent days working this out in her mind because, a few days later, she announced, “I know why Mommy didn’t call. She doesn’t have a phone.”

This is what children do to protect their own hearts. They rationalize. They make excuses for neglectful parents.

Amari still hasn’t asked. In fact, his behavior has improved since the phone calls stopped.

Jesus told his disciples, we must come to him as little children. Children forgive. They leave their hearts open to the missing parent.

When questioned about forgiveness, Jesus told Peter we must forgive seven times seventy-seven times. Children do that, but some day, if the situation doesn’t change, they’ll stop. That’s the sad part. Hope will die in their hearts if we don’t give them something else to trust in.