Remembering the Forgotten Mothers

Courtesy of Pixabay.com

This weekend, we celebrate Mother’s Day. I never look forward to it because few of mine have gone well.

Instead of whining about why my Mother’s Days aren’t fun, I’d rather help my readers notice the mothers who get sidelined or find it hard to enjoy this day.

Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.
Psalm 68:5

As you remember your mother, wife, grandparents, or any other women in your life who answer to “Mom” please try to share a kind thought or blessing with any you know who are:

Single Moms: Most children learn to celebrate Mother’s Day through their fathers. Without a father to guide them, they don’t recognize the importance of this day.

Military Wives:  These women have the same problem as single parents if their husbands are deployed.

Stepmothers: They get a bad wrap thanks to fairy tales. Any woman who willingly marries a man with children does so with plans to embrace the lives of those children. That doesn’t mean those children remember them on Mother’s Day.

Grandmothers Raising Grandchildren: Most of them did not sign up for this. They’ve already parented one generation of children and were not anticipating doing it again.

Mothers Who Have Lost Their Children: I can’t begin to imagine the pain they experience.

Mothers Whose Children Don’t Contact Them: Estrangement from a child hurts. This is that little baby they carried and doted on.

Mothers Whose Children Live Too Far Away: They tend to understand the problems brought on by distance, but it still makes for a lonely Mother’s Day.

Women Who Have Lost Their Mothers: It’s been three years since I lost my mom and shopping for Mother’s Day cards is bittersweet. I, always, find the perfect one for her.

I’m sure there are other women who belong on this list. Find them and wish them a good day. If you have time or the means, treat them to lunch or a mani-pedi or give them a break from the kids for a few hours. They will appreciate it more than you know.

Where To Go From Here?

Image courtesy of Sommai at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy SommaiFreeDigitalPhotos.net

I’ve devoted most of my posts to revealing the development of my faith through the difficult journey of my life.  Then, in August of last year, my path shifted and this blog had to be put on hold for awhile.

Next week, my posts will continue to tell my story.  If you haven’t read what’s happened in my journey to faith, they are all labeled The Journey.  Just select the link and scroll to the bottom of the posts under that label. From there, you can read the story in order.  What will you find?  My experiences with teenage pregnancy, domestic violence, divorce, single parenting, and chronic illness.  There’s a lot there, and I guess God isn’t through with me yet, which brings up the question:

What’s next?

I hope to conclude with the planned posts for my journey sometime in the first half of this year.  Then, I feel strongly that this blog should focus on my new path:  parenting grandchildren.

If you are a grandparent raising grandchildren, on your own or with your adult children in the house, please comment below or contact me privately through the information page on my website.  I know there are a lot of us raising our grandchildren, so if you are interested in writing an occasional post, answering some survey questions, or sharing your own experiences with me, I want to hear from you!

For those of you not in this situation, I hope you will continue to stay with us on this new journey.  I guarantee you know someone who is raising grandchildren.  You might discover new insights or ways to encourage them.   AND, if you know someone raising their grandchildren, would you share this post with them?  Thank you!

Teenage Pregnancy: When It Happens To You

The Face of Teen PregnancyI snuck out in the middle of the night to be with him…

And got caught.

Not right away, but long enough for my mother’s first words to be, “At least tell me you used protection.”

My response shocks me to this day. “It might be too late for that,”  I said, then looked away.  I couldn’t meet her gaze.

The rest of my summer went downhill from there.  Mom took me to a doctor in another town, and the pregnancy test came back negative.   He gave me some pills to restart my cycle, stating that the stress I’d been under probably interrupted it.

Relieved, I got on with my plans to enter college in the fall.

But, my cycle didn’t start back.

A few days after moving into the dorms, I returned to the same doctor who, this time, confirmed my pregnancy.  These days, you can find out quickly, but back then, if you weren’t far enough along, the tests weren’t accurate.

My life got worse.  My parents pushed for an abortion.  His parents, and he, pushed for me to keep the baby.  No one cared what I wanted.  They cared about what they wanted. Before you judge either side, you need to know that neither side loved the situation.  My parents hated the idea of an abortion, but they hated the idea of their daughter’s life shifting to motherhood just as she embarked on her college years.  His parents hated the situation, too, but abortion went against everything they believed.

I was caught in the middle.  No one asked me how I felt.  No one talked to me about my options in a caring manner.

Yes, my parents made me talk to our minister, who showed me a very thick file folder. Each sheet in the folder represented a marriage due to teenage pregnancy. He told me every couple in that file was now divorced. My minister assured me that our church believed in life at birth.  He advised an abortion.

For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?  Matthew 16:26

Although no one asked me, I stood firm on this one.  I don’t know why because I had no strong religious convictions at this time, but I chose life.  I chose my baby. It felt like the right thing to do.  Was I tempted to take the easy way out and carry on as if my life hadn’t changed? Yes.  But I chose life, and I don’t regret it, even though the marriage this forced me into catapulted my life further along this horrid trajectory.

We got married.