The Forgotten On Mother’s Day

Image courtesy of Pixabay

This weekend, we celebrate Mother’s Day. It’s not my favorite day because most of mine have not gone well.

Instead of whining about my issues with this day, I want to encourage you to notice the women who get sidelined or find it hard to enjoy this day.

Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.
Psalm 68:5

As you remember your mother, wife, grandparents, or any other women in your life who answer to “Mom” please try to share a kind thought or blessing with any you know who are:

Childless:  Many women want children and can’t have them. This can be a tough day for them.

Single Moms: Most children learn to celebrate Mother’s Day through their fathers. Without a father to guide them, children of single moms don’t always recognize the significance of this day.

Military Wives:  These women have the same problem as single parents if their husbands are deployed.

Stepmothers: They get a bad wrap thanks to fairy tales. Any woman who willingly marries a man with children does so with plans to embrace the lives of those children. That doesn’t mean those children remember them on Mother’s Day.

Grandmothers Raising Grandchildren: Most of them did not sign up for this. They’ve already parented one generation of children and were not anticipating doing it again.

Mothers Who Have Lost Their Children: I can’t begin to imagine the pain they experience.

Mothers Whose Children Don’t Contact Them: Estrangement from a child hurts. This is that little baby they carried and doted on.

Mothers Whose Children Live Too Far Away: They tend to understand the problems brought on by distance, but it still makes for a lonely Mother’s Day.

Women Who Have Lost Their Mothers: It’s been four years since I lost my mom and shopping for Mother’s Day cards is bittersweet. I, always, find the perfect one for her.

Single Dads: Single dads play the part of mom, they have no choice.

Widowers:  Whether their children remain at home or are grown, they miss the woman they used to honor on this day.

I’m sure there are others who belong on this list. Find them and wish them a good day. If you have time or the means, treat them to lunch or a mani-pedi or give them a break from the kids for a few hours. They will appreciate it more than you know.

A version of this post originally ran on May 5, 2017.

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Disappointment Part 2

You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy. Psalm 30:11

Last week, I shared my concerns over promises and plans my daughter made with her children. This week, unfortunately, it appears she chose to disappear again. I can’t be sure, but all signs point to it.

I’ve posted the verse above from Psalm 30 as a reminder to me as I prepare for the time when my grandchildren realize she’s broken her promises. There will be tears and pain. Some they will show, some they will hide. Most times the tears will appear in response to something unrelated, and I’ll need to remember that something else drives the tears. Hopefully, we will find a way to help them dance instead of cry.

Prayers appreciated for my daughter, grandchildren, and us.

Disappointment: When Parents Break Promises

Image courtesy of Pixabay

“While we look forward with hope to that wonderful day when the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, will be revealed.”Titus 2:13

We cling to hope in our Christian walk. So many parts of the gospel remind us of that hope. But hope is sometimes difficult when dealing with other people. For instance, my daughter and grandchildren.

What happens in the next week or two will significantly impact my grandchildren and their relationship with my daughter. Will their mommy disappoint them or stay true to her words? It’s hard to know, and I’m a bit frustrated with the situation.

Without going into a lot of detail, I can tell you she’s made promises. Promises that she can’t keep because she doesn’t know what’s coming or what’s going to happen. My daughter tends to count her chickens before they hatch. A LOT. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen her do this. Every time I warn her, she says I’m negative. It will happen. I’m wrong to worry. Then, of course, her plans fall apart.

She’s doing it again.

Once I realized what she was saying to her children, I tried to get her to stop. She can’t see how her words affect them. She wants to be with them, hug and kiss them. I want this for them, too. But, even if things do go the way she hopes they will, it’s going to be a long, hard road. History says she’ll disappear instead.

Unfortunately, for Victoria and Amari, this leads to disappointment and frustration. For us, it means picking up the pieces of their shattered hearts. I wish she could see this, but she’s shortsighted. She knows what she wants, and she’s determined it will happen.

The disconcerting part is the way my grandchildren interpret her promises. Amari believes that on a specific date in a few weeks (yes, he states an actual date) he will go to live with her. That’s not going to happen. It can’t. Not that soon. I had to be the bad guy and tell him this last night. He wanted to know how soon they could live with Mommy. I told him I didn’t know, but it would be at least a year or two. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it might not ever happen, but that’s a real possibility. Past experiences point to the likelihood of her violating her promises.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

I’m not anxious for me. I know to trust in God. I’ve grown past the hurt of her actions and understand the peace my faith and trust give me. To two little children, this is not so easy. As much as I’d love to say, my prayers will change what she does and how the system will respond to her, I know that’s not always the case. So, I pray. I wait. I prepare to pick up the pieces if she shatters their hope.