Forced to Slow Down

My forced slow down continues, but I’m on the recovery path with my broken foot. I hit a much-needed milestone this week. I can now drive. Short distances, mind you, but it’s a step in the right direction. Of course, I pushed my limits early in the week and had to slow back down as my foot complained. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

One thing I’ve noticed as I spent the last month (!) as an observer instead of major participant in the running of our household is how much the kids have been affected by the shifts in our routine. I already knew they needed routine to feel safe, but it’s different when you observe it happening. At a time when we needed cooperation most, they became more difficult. This week, I’ve seen occasional improvements, but in small doses.

Amari seems to be pushing back against the changes by whining. A. LOT. We’re talking multiple meltdowns in the hour between getting up and going to school, and then a repeat of this in the hours after school until bedtime. Luckily, this isn’t happening at school. I wish I knew what was going on in his head.  I’m sure there’s some worry that he can’t express to us driving him to these actions.

When he keeps whining, we get frustrated, and our patience runs thin. And that brings Victoria into the picture. She starts yelling at everyone. We’re already dealing with the adolescent onset of negative attitudes and tones from her, but she’s taking it to a whole new level. The weird thing is she sounds like she’s mad at us, and we’re just trying to get everyone moving and on track toward school or bedtime. She told me this morning, she’s not mad at us, she’s mad at her brother. Great. We’ve asked her to stay out of things because it makes it worst, but I feel like we’re talking to a wall.

Since I’m stuck working from home, I often spend some time after they leave sitting quietly. I need to get my heart and mind in a good place before I tackle anything else. First, I pray for their day, the safety of our schools, and any other issues I want to discuss with God. I’ve been better at really focusing on this in the past month. Then, most mornings, I listen to my Bible app while I sip on my tea. If a particular scripture intrigues me, I listen to different Bible versions of it while I get ready for the day. It does help, and I eventually come back down to earth.

Your word is a lamp for my feet,
    a light on my path.
Psalm 119:105

 

Before I dive into my paid work, I create images like the lantern one above and post them on social media. These seem to be a result of the time I’m spending in prayer and scripture. The response to my posts tells me people need these inspirations during their day, too. I’m doing them for me, but it’s nice to know they’re impacting others.

There’s a lot I’m seeing and trying to understand these days. The situation has forced me to observe. Even though I can’t act on most of what I’m observing, my gut is telling me that I need to pay attention to the clues. Hopefully, I’ll be able to find some answers or gain some insight during this time. I’m frustrated, but I’m trying to make good use of my enforced rest.

What about you? Have you ever been forced to slow down? What did you learn?

 

When the Enemy Attacks

© Barbara V. Evers

Over the past few weeks, I’ve felt overwhelmed. Events have tumbled over me in a torrent of troubles and issues related to raising my grandchildren. I’m not ready to talk about those things just yet, but I found myself thinking back to a blog post I wrote eight years ago. In this post, I looked at a personal situation where I, and several Christian sisters, came under attack. It was sneaky. It was unexpected, but it was typical of the enemy. That’s his preferred weapon:  stealth.

Today, because I keep thinking about that post, I thought I’d share it here.

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When warriors gather the enemy becomes anxious and plots a counter-strike.  The strategy might be to beat them to the punch, infiltrate the troops, or even attack while they sleep.  I experienced this first-hand at the Christian Communicators Conference this past weekend, a gathering designed to equip women to provide encouragement to others through the gifts of speaking and writing.

On the second night, our facilitators, Vonda Skelton and Carolyn Knefely , danced off to bed in excited triumph.  The day’s sessions proved that the women assembled in this lovely lakeside home held the power of the Spirit in their hearts and could truly minister to other women.

Then the enemy struck.

He chose to sneak into our camp at night and destroy with doubt and fear.

I struggled with my own shortcomings, uncomfortable with my abilities when measured against the phenomenal women gathered in this house.  In no way did I believe I could stand up and share my love of the Lord with the same knowledge and passion that they demonstrated.

But wait, I wasn’t alone.

The next morning, Vonda called us together to begin the next session, and the truth began to flow.  One after another, we heard of the late night battles fought by these holy warriors and the brink of defeat that Satan drew each of us toward.  Story after story tumbled from our mouths.

“I can’t do this.”

“Who am I to think that I can lead others in their love of the Lord?”

“My life doesn’t reflect Him well enough to stand before others and proclaim Him.”

The Spirit moved in that beautiful sun-drenched living room that morning and we shared, confessed, laughed, and cried.   The truth is that Satan saw the strength behind our testimonies and conviction and fought back in the way he does best, with stealth attacking each of us one at a time.

The victory is not Satan’s though.  The Holy Spirit prompted us to speak of our fears the next morning.  Imagine our amazement when the truth revealed itself in our simple sharing.  We are the army of the Lord, and when we put on the holy armor of God, we can do anything!

To God be the glory, great things he has done!

 

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Today, I head to North Carolina to run a women’s retreat for my home church. It’s been a tough road getting there, but I’m excited about what we have planned for them. Why else would my life be so chaotic right now? We must be doing something right.

Your prayers are appreciated.

 

Come To Serve, Not Be Served

© Barbara V. Evers, All rights reserved.

This week I flew to Orlando. No, I didn’t go in search of the fun most people think of when they think of Orlando, Florida: no Disney World, no Universal Studios.

Instead, I went to serve.

One of the truths of serving others is we gain more than if we’d gone in search of being served.

My class was fantastic. They were fun. They listened, engaged with me, and embraced the training I provided.

I haven’t had much opportunity to travel in the past two years. Being the guardian of two young children tends to rein in the ability to leave town for several days week after week.

My grandchildren’s counselor got excited when I told her I had been away for three days. “Did you read? Did you relax? Did you get some peace and quiet?”

Nope. I got less sleep than I would at home. I worked right up until bedtime preparing for the next day. I spent as much time as I could with the other trainers when I wasn’t in the classroom.

But I found joy in this.

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:5-11

Jesus found times of peace and solitude, but he came to serve, not to be served. And in so doing, I believe he found joy. If he’d grumped around tired and worn out, no one would have followed him. Just a few verses later, Paul alludes to this:

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. Philippians 2:14-16

So serving is where it’s at.  I served and through that service I received:

• Time with old friends
• A new friend whom I hope will become a great friend
• Conversations with people about what matters to them and seeing their eyes light up
• Laughter, lots of it
• Heartfelt thanks for helping people do their jobs well
• The camaraderie of 45 trainees I will probably never see again, but who touched my life in a very positive way
• A change of pace for a few days
• Service from those hired to make sure I had everything I needed to do my job well, including:
  • Waiters who brought me non-dairy milk
  • Food servers who replenished the buffet just as I reached the empty dishes
  • Meeting event people who made sure I had everything I needed and did so without complaint
  • Trainers who jumped in with tips and tricks
  • Several assistant “trainers” who made sure my classroom kept moving forward
  • Managers (internal and external) who checked with me on time and needs
• Safe trips there and back
• A husband who stepped up to care for the grandchildren by himself while I was gone (I know how hard this is)

Where do you serve?