Domestic Violence Awareness: My Story

Forty-two years ago this month, I married the man who would become my abuser. He had already altered the trajectory of my life, and our short, three-year marriage would continue to shift my life path in ways unimaginable. I usually try to ignore the date when it comes around, but, ironically, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

The first way I coped with this shocking turn of events in my life was to write about it. No big surprise there. Although, I only spent three years married to my abuser, it impacted my life and my children’s lives permanently. I moved forward quickly, thanks to a loving and supportive family and friends. Not everyone gets that, though. That’s why I’ve spent years speaking to people about the issue and working to educate women of their options.

I have written some pretty harrowing short stories about abuse (and some difficult posts on this blog). For two of my short stories, I recorded a video of me reading them and uploaded them to YouTube. (If you follow my author blog, An Eclectic Muse, you probably have seen these, already.)

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. To draw attention to this cause, I’m sharing the links to the two stories. Both are works of fiction, although one is based on one of my actual experiences.

The first one is Gentle Snow:

This one is Pieces:

Leaving Worry Behind

In my last post, I was struggling to decide how to proceed with our grandchildren’s education this school year. I found myself leaning one way but worrying about the repercussions of each option. There is no easy answer to this situation. Everyone knows that at this point.

This morning, I was listening to the Sermon on the Mount, and the following verse jumped out at me:

 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

We made our decision two weeks ago. We had no choice. The deadline was upon us. We’re doing virtual for now. My grandson will participate in a micro-school with two other children. They will have someone available to monitor their progress and help if needed. While he does that, I can work without constantly stopping to make sure he’s staying focused and on track. This option, also, meets his social needs. My granddaughter is self-motivated, so she’ll attend virtually from home.

Since making this decision, I’ve not worried as much…until this week. Why? My granddaughter has been in contact with her friends, and she misses them. Most of her friends opted for the hybrid in-person/e-learning option. I’m not concerned about the educational impact. The virtual option guarantees teacher access throughout the school day. The e-learning part of the other option does not. I’m concerned about her friendships. She’s been very lonely this summer. I began to worry if her friendships will survive.

Then my Bible app read Matthew 6:34. These words spoken by Jesus over 2000 years ago comforted me. Worry will not change things. We made the best decision we could. No one knows the future. I know for some of you, not worrying is a tough undertaking. I don’t tend to worry a lot, but there are times when my internal thoughts chip away at my soul. This verse, and the ones preceding it, came for me at the right time.

As Jesus says, each day has enough trouble of its own.

I hope you are well and safe and not worrying.

 

 

As a side note, I uploaded a video of me reading one of my short stories about domestic violence on YouTube a few weeks ago. It’s not Christian-themed, so if you decide to listen to it, keep that in mind.  But since I’ve written about domestic violence many times on this blog, I thought I’d share the story. You can find it here.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month: From One Who Lived It

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Forty-one years ago this month, I married the man who would become my abuser. He had already altered the trajectory of my life, and our short, three-year marriage would continue to shift my life path in ways unimaginable. I usually try to ignore the date when it comes around, but, ironically, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

A few years ago, I decided to confront this memory differently, to share what I’ve written on domestic violence. Please be aware that these posts reflect on a very short part of my life close to forty years ago. I’ve spent the years since seeking to educate others on this issue. I won’t stop doing that until I’m gone, but, even then, I hope my words will live on to guide others to escape or avoid an abusive relationship.

Today, the links are in purple, the color we wear to remember those who suffer, suffered, or died at the hands of an abuser.

I doubt you can stomach all of these in one sitting, but if you want to know more about a serious topic in today’s world, any of these posts can be enlightening.

I pray that you will find a way to help someone in this situation. If there are multiple signs that make you suspect someone is in an abusive relationship, please speak to them. That said, do be careful how you do this.  Abusers read their partners’ email, texts, and mail. They eavesdrop on phone calls. They track their whereabouts. None of this technology existed when I went through this. It’s another example of technology meant for good being twisted into something dangerous. Make sure you don’t endanger them.