The Best Laid Plans . . . Maybe

No matter how well I plan, nothing goes the way it should these days. Do you know that feeling?

I wish I could say this was a temporary situation, but I’m looking at over a year of constant barriers and interruptions to my workday. The sad thing is most of them are not due to my mistakes.

I should have time to get stuff done, but other people and organizations continue to construct roadblocks.

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6:34

I’ve focused this blog on grandparenting over the last few years since two of my grandchildren live with us. Children who end up in foster care or the care of a relative often bring more than baggage with them. In our case, we have several diagnoses: ADHD, OCD, Anxiety, Autism.

I’ve hit most of these in stride, but a lot of setbacks come from the government and pharmaceutical issues. ADHD meds are controlled substances. In our state, you HAVE to visit the prescribing doctor every 3 months. Since they have different doctors due to their specific needs, that’s eight times a year I have to fit one of these appointments into my schedule.

After the appointment, the doctor submits 3 separate prescriptions for the same medication to the pharmacy. These can NOT be listed as refills. Each one has a “do not fill before” date on it. Not satisfied with that restriction, insurance will not let them fill the prescription until 30 days after you picked up the last prescription. Since the scripts are not refills, you have to call the pharmacy and speak to the pharmacist in order to fill it. Call a day too early, and the pharmacy tells you to call back the next day. That’s enough of a pain, right?

But oh no, I’m not done.

My granddaughter’s prescription is often on back order. Why? Because in December it became available in generic form. Great, right? Nope. No one can get the generic form. It’s back ordered, too. Since there’s a generic available, the drug company no longer offers a discount coupon. For the same reason, insurance doesn’t want to pay for the brand. It’s not cheap.

If they’re out of stock, I can call other pharmacies to see if they have either form, but these prescriptions can NOT be transferred to another store, even in the same company. If I find it, I have to call the doctor who has to cancel the existing prescription with the current pharmacy and submit a new prescription to the new pharmacy.

My grandson’s prescription is not available in generic and it’s not on our insurance formularies. He is intolerant to the less expensive alternatives, and it took us forever to find this one. We can’t switch. For the last 3 years, once a year, his secondary insurance required a physician’s authorization. With authorization, they cover the prescription. In November, I proactively asked the doctor to do the authorization. The insurance company said they didn’t need it. This month, they do. He qualifies based on their criteria, but they’re refusing to accept the authorization. It’s not cheap if they don’t. After multiple attempts to get it approved, I gave up the other day and paid the higher price. That hurt.

These aren’t one call and done situations. They take a LOT of time to navigate when everything works. When something does go wrong, they take days. Time I need to use elsewhere.

My husband and I are nearing retirement age. We can’t afford to have our costs go up because the kids’ insurance wants to give us a hard time. I can’t afford the extra time from my work that I devote to these problems.

I wish I could say these are the only issues setting me back, but I could go on and on. I’m continually having to spend time on a problem not of my own making rather than do the work I’d planned to do that day. It’s getting ridiculous.

In the verse from Matthew listed above, it says not to be anxious. This is hard. I have a To Do list. Up until last year, I had minor setbacks but nothing major setting me back. Now? I’m lucky if I cross one thing off my list each day. In fact, I almost didn’t take the time to write this post because of the time factor. I decided to anyway because I’m fairly sure I’m not the only frustrated parent, grandparent, or caregiver out there.

I do trust God to take care of things, but it’s hard when this world requires so much from me. I’m not a worrier, thank goodness, but I am a planner. I’ve seen my grands without these prescriptions. They don’t do well.

I guess I’m like the father in the Mark who tells Jesus, “Lord I believe. Help my unbelief.”

The Best-Laid Plans…Of God’s

The last two weeks have exhausted me, but I’m not alone. School started this past Monday. That’s enough to add stress to every parent dealing with new educational plans, not to mention all of the teachers and school administrators.

This idiom came to me over and over in the last week:

The best-laid plans of mice and men…

The Bible says it better:

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. Proverbs 16:9

Why that particular idiom and verse?

We had planned our course about school for the grands. I wrote a post two weeks ago about letting go of my worries over that decision. Worrying doesn’t change the outcome. It only takes time away from your life. You can’t respond to a “what if” unless it happens.

On Thursday of last week, it happened.

The school posted my granddaughter’s final schedule that morning. One of her Honors classes was missing. The promised alert from the school district letting us know a course wasn’t available virtually did not come. I found out because I paused to check for final updates to her schedule.

Another idiom that came to me over the last week:

The devil is in the details.

And he is. He delights in messing us up. He likes to push us. And he did.

But God had a plan. I will be the first to admit, my frustration tried to get the better of me, but I didn’t have time to be angry. I got it under control, prayed, and went into action.

I started reaching out to people for help and discovered the virtual school was so new that contacts for help, besides their all-purpose info line, didn’t exist. Even the one administrator who appeared on her schedule didn’t have voicemail set up. I sent an email, knowing that we were beyond the time frame of waiting on an answer.

I turned to the school she would attend if we’d opted for the other option. They responded quickly, thank goodness.  In fact, three different people reached out to me within the hour and followed up with me throughout the day to be sure we covered everything. We found out, thanks to them and their inside contacts, that this particular Honors course was not offered in the virtual school. The solution took time to work out, but we did work it out.

Changes to her plans meant I needed to make changes for her brother. For multiple reasons that came to light a few days earlier, I suspected I needed a new plan for him, anyway.

All of this happened on Thursday. School started the next Monday.

Thanks to fast actions from the brick and mortar schools, I managed to get things straightened out. Not only that, but my grandson ended up with the best teacher-the one everyone wants their child to get.  She’s, also, a Christian and calls for grace as we struggle through these crazy changes. Grace for the kids as they adapt to new ways of attending school. Grace for her as she adapts to a new way of teaching. Grace for the parents as they struggle with work and at home e-learning several days a week. She’s amazing. If I’d managed to correct his school situation ten minutes earlier, we would have gotten a different teacher.  If I’d made a different decision about his education in July, we might not have gotten her either.

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. Proverbs 19:21

God knows the best timing. He knows how to guide our steps toward his purpose.

My granddaughter was not happy about the solution we came up with, but God provided blessings for her, too. One, she got the Honors class she needed (and really wanted more than any other class), and two, she gets more time with her best friend whom she’s seen very little of since March.

And for me? I received several signs from God that told me this is the right decision made at the right time.

P.S.
I’m not faulting the virtual program and those involved in setting it up. It’s new. They are struggling with a whole new way of doing things and doing the best they can. Things fall through the cracks. They, too, need grace.

 

Leaving Worry Behind

In my last post, I was struggling to decide how to proceed with our grandchildren’s education this school year. I found myself leaning one way but worrying about the repercussions of each option. There is no easy answer to this situation. Everyone knows that at this point.

This morning, I was listening to the Sermon on the Mount, and the following verse jumped out at me:

 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

We made our decision two weeks ago. We had no choice. The deadline was upon us. We’re doing virtual for now. My grandson will participate in a micro-school with two other children. They will have someone available to monitor their progress and help if needed. While he does that, I can work without constantly stopping to make sure he’s staying focused and on track. This option, also, meets his social needs. My granddaughter is self-motivated, so she’ll attend virtually from home.

Since making this decision, I’ve not worried as much…until this week. Why? My granddaughter has been in contact with her friends, and she misses them. Most of her friends opted for the hybrid in-person/e-learning option. I’m not concerned about the educational impact. The virtual option guarantees teacher access throughout the school day. The e-learning part of the other option does not. I’m concerned about her friendships. She’s been very lonely this summer. I began to worry if her friendships will survive.

Then my Bible app read Matthew 6:34. These words spoken by Jesus over 2000 years ago comforted me. Worry will not change things. We made the best decision we could. No one knows the future. I know for some of you, not worrying is a tough undertaking. I don’t tend to worry a lot, but there are times when my internal thoughts chip away at my soul. This verse, and the ones preceding it, came for me at the right time.

As Jesus says, each day has enough trouble of its own.

I hope you are well and safe and not worrying.

 

 

As a side note, I uploaded a video of me reading one of my short stories about domestic violence on YouTube a few weeks ago. It’s not Christian-themed, so if you decide to listen to it, keep that in mind.  But since I’ve written about domestic violence many times on this blog, I thought I’d share the story. You can find it here.