Seeds fell on my soul for years before I began to understand the message of salvation and grace. I can look back through my story and find seeds planted by a variety of people throughout my life. For many years, the seeds lay dormant, waiting for water and fertilizer to make them grow.
He also said, “This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come.” Mark 4:26-29
I’ve attributed a lot of my salvation to the church I attended in my early twenties, but it’s not the church that saved me. The church embraced me so I could accept the water and fertilizer and sunshine needed to help those seeds sprout and grow. My revelations during the singles retreat allowed the seeds to crack open, bits of green pushing against the soil.
From that point on, I chose to expose myself to the teaching and study of the Bible. Even doing this, it took another year before I truly understood the crucifixion and resurrection. I had begun to study the Bible through other books as well as reading scripture. One of the books I read was Max Lucado’s book about the time Jesus spent on the cross, Six Hours One Friday.
I remember vividly the moment I understood. I often read before bedtime and had reached the part where Lucado explains how Christ took on our sins and God, his father, could not look on him while he did this. This is why he cried out:
“Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”). Matthew 27:46
For the first time ever, God left Jesus. He was completely separated from the father.
As a child I thought the point of the cross was to show that Jesus could return from the dead thus proving he was the son of God. I did not understand that he took on all of the sins of the world. No one explained it to me before. No one. I guess everyone assumed that as a Christian I knew this. I didn’t.
What a revelation! Now, everything began to fall into place. My little seedling pushed through the crust of the soil and reached toward the son in humility and joy.
I wonder how many people have seeds just waiting for those first drops of water, for that one point when the life inside their shell pushes forward to blossom into a life of grace?