For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in. Psalm 27:10
While Amari worked on his homework yesterday, he called to me, “Babbie, will you call my Daddy?”
My heart aches every time he asks me to do this. Why? I can’t call his father. I have a good guess where he is, but in the two years the grands have lived with us, he’s never initiated contact. Not once. I don’t have an address or a phone number. It’s hard for Amari.
His sister’s father does make contact. He’s not the greatest father example in the world, but he does reach out to Victoria. They talk on the phone for a few seconds usually. He buys her birthday and Christmas gifts and tries to get her something every now and then. It’s not much. He’s disabled and on kidney dialysis due to the damage his lifelong drug use did to his body. At least, the kidney situation made him clean up his act. For that, I’m thankful.
Still, it’s more than Amari’s father has ever done. He wants his father. He asks to talk to Victoria’s father when they’re on the phone. Sometimes, he gets to do so, but it’s not what he’s looking for.
I can’t imagine how he feels. I can’t tell him where his dad is or put him in contact with his dad. Even if I could, I’m not sure I would. Not unless he’s willing to change his lifestyle.
For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. Romans 8:15-17
The good news for Amari is that God is his father. He seems to get this in his childlike way. Several times a week, we talk about God and Jesus and heaven. He brings them up on his own. And he seems to understand the idea that God is his father. A few nights ago, he asked us, “Who is the uncle of the world?”
Confused, we told him we weren’t sure.
Then he said, “Who is the father of the world?”
Since I’m posting this in a faith-based blog, the answer seems obvious, but we had been talking about the members of our family moments before he asked this. We didn’t know.
Amari grinned that amazing smile of his and said, “Yes you do! It’s God and Jesus!”
But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” Luke 18:16-17