I survived Mother’s Day, and this year it wasn’t horrible.
I’ve shared before that I don’t love this particular holiday, but we faced a new problem this year.
Do we let the grands speak to their mother on Mother’s Day? Since the grands came to live with us, their mother has been out of contact as Mother’s Day rolled around each year. This year is different.
I ended up letting them talk to her. She begged all week, but I told her I couldn’t promise anything. I’m not heartless. I had my reasons.
On the morning of Mother’s Day, they asked if they could buy Mommy something or send Mommy a card. I told them we couldn’t; I have no idea how to send her something.
Because they asked about her, I decided to let them talk to her if she called. I don’t have the ability to call her, so I waited to see if she would try.
She did. She’s allowed six minutes for a phone call, and I told her, “Yes, you can talk to them, but you can not tell them where you are or what you’re doing.”
She agreed. My heart cracked when I heard the excitement and surprise in her voice. I want to help her, but I can’t do that if she won’t help herself first. My priority is helping her children.
Why did I ask her not to tell them anything about her location? Because she confused and disappointed them last year with promises she shouldn’t make. She’s not in the clear yet, and I’m not going to talk about what she’s doing currently. Suffice it to say that her children might find hope too soon if she gave them more information.
Meanwhile, we get to deal with the aftermath of this brief phone call. It’s a tough decision to make for caregivers of children. The children want contact (most of the time), but after the contact, confusion and grief rises to the surface. It’s a balancing act of trying to keep them positive while acknowledging how yucky their situation is. . . and that they have no control over any of it.
Still, we had a good Mother’s Day. I’ll take that.